Remembering Mama

Hi Fellow Yappers...

Last week, my Hubby’s family had lost someone that is dear to their hearts. Amma Timoh was the last surviving grandma among my hubby’s grandpa’s siblings. So we went to her funeral that morning. I managed to capture the moment when we were about to start our tahlil.

Funerals always remind us of death, and it makes us wonder if our bekalan of amalan is sufficient enough. Time nilah buat kite terhenti sebentar mengejar duniawi. Peringatan that one day we ourselves will face it. When the ustaz’s was reading the “Talkin” at the funeral something that he said really hit me.

He said that every morning roh roh orang yang sudah pergi akan menunggu malaikat tiba. Dan di situ mereka akan tertanya-tanya, “adakah anak-anak aku atau sesiapa mendoakan ku wahai malaikat?”. Jikalau ada antara kita yang mendoakan si mati maka jawab malaikat “Ada wahai si polan. Anak-anakmu/si polan ada mendoakanmu” maka tersenyumlah roh tadi. Akan tetapi jikalau tiada doa dibekalkan untuk si mati maka jawab malaikat “Tiada wahai si polan. Mereka sedang tido leka tidak mendoakanmu” maka menangisla roh tadi.

This makes me realize, well I’m not perfect, tak sempurna macam manusia lain. Ada ketika memang diakui I’ve forgotten to that for arwah mama. It breaks my heart because I know when she was around, I may have hurt her but to think that now she’s gone, I am still hurting her?..that’s just heartbreaking.

I remembered the day she went away. It was in 2008, just a week before Hari Raya Aidilfitri. It was definitely the saddest day of my life. I was at the hospital that morning when the Dr looked straight at my face saying “She only has few hours left. Please call all your family members and we will make her feel as comfortable as possible”. I still relived those moments every time teringat kan dia.

Dulu masa mama ade, I’ve always takes things for granted. Slalu rasa mama will be there for those big events and important days like my wedding day, bile beranak etc. Tp Allah lagi sayangkan mama kan. Walau apepun, Alhamdulillah, sebab Allah bagi mama kekuatan mase time convo and hari bertunang. Bersyukur sangat mama ade lagi time tu

Teringat lagi mama time raya mama cakap “ B, mehla tolong mama kat dapur, blajar masak rendang”. Boleh plak time tuh jawab “Ala takpela ma, tak kahwin lagi. Nanti nak dekat kawin barulah blajar”. Mama boleh gelak jer time tuh. Skarang, sume dah terlambat, tapi Alhamdulillah, walaupun malas, semua yang mama ajar dari kecik sampai besar, insyaAllah I will remember.

Kadang-kadang sedih and jeles tgk org lain ade mak. I wish I can be like that. Sedih thinking that Arissa and Shahien will never get the chance to know and jumpe their mamapah, rase kasih sayang mamapah. She would have loved both of you just like she showered Hannah with lots of love. Tapi dah qada and qadar and kite kene redha dgn pemergiannya.

Mama, a doting grandma. Always try to spend time with her only granddaughter at that point of time

Mama there’s so many things I wish I could do with you, I want to hug and kiss you and say how much I love you and thank you for all the things you’ve done for me throughout the first 24 years of my life. Hanya doa jer yang dapat nana sedekah kan. Al- fatihah...

The woman who has given me everything

 Here's a song for mama...